Hello, Sheep. Sorry For My Neglect, But Let Me Assure You Simple Minded Dolts, My Neglect Has Been For VERY Good Reasons.
You See, Ol' Dr. Payne Has Been Very Very BUSY! I Would Like At This Time To Update You As To The Current State
Of The Carnival Of Payne (C.O.P.), And Trust Me, It's ALL Good.
Where To Begin? First, Let's Discuss NWH. Well, Let's Start With The "Extreme Strongman" Gino Martino. As I Type This, The Big Man Is On His
Way To Winnipeg For The NWA Convention, Representing Both The Carnival Of Payne And His Brass Knux Belt. Unfortunately,
My Responsibilities To The COP Prevent Me From Accompanying Him On This Journey, But He Is In The Ever Capable Hands Of
My Good Friend And Sometime Business Partner, Quintin Michaels. I KNOW Beyond A Shadow Of A Doubt, Gino Will
Amaze, Impress, And Astound Those Ignorant Canucks With His Death-Defying Strongman Demonstrations. Make Me Proud, Big Man,
And Leave No Doubt In Those Backwoods Hicks' Minds That Gino Martino Is THE Toughest Man In Wrestling Today!
Next, Let's Discuss My High-Wire Daredevil, "Extremely Tasty" Adam Hastey. I Know All Of You Women (And Some Of You
Sick Perverted Men) Have Been Disappointed Over The Last Few Months, As Hastey Has Been Sidelined With A Knee Injury.
Good News Ladies. I Just Finished Speaking With Hastey's Doctor, And Let's Just Say That SOON Hastey Will Not
Just Have To Assist Me In Giving "Moral Support" To Gino At Ringside, But Will Himself Be In Action. How Soon?
Fret Not, Sheep, Much Sooner Than You Think, Heh, Heh, Heh.
Speaking Of Assisting Me At Ringside, I Must At This Time Give All Due Credit To My Faithful And Devious Assistant,
Sludge The Clown. He Has Been Doing A Tremendous Job Managing Gino In My Absence. I Simply Love All Of The Wicked And
Wild Things He Is Able To Inspire Gino To Do. I Know That Sludge Has Never Been Happier, Since He Realized That Being
A Happy Little Clown, Embarassing Himself For The Amusement Of Insignifigant Little Pissants Like You, Was Getting
Him Nowhere, He Is Having The Time Of His Life. What An Excuisite Addition He Has Made to the Carnival.
Now, Let's Discuss NWA-NE. Any Of You That Went To The Last Show In Sanford, Maine (God, What A Craphole Of A Town), Know
That The COP Had Quite An Evening. First Of All, Let Me Officially Welcome Into The Fold, Victorian, My LOVELY Assistant.
She Is The One That Brought To Me "The Foresaken" Plague, And Black Lotus. These Two Young, Lost Children May Be Slightly
Inexperienced, As Was Shown in Plague's Loss To "Rugged Rick" Daniels (More On Him Later) And Lotus' Failed Attempt To Capture
The Belt In the X-Division Four Way, Cheated As He Was. The Two Of Them Certainly Make Up For Any Inexperience With Their
Respective Speed And Power, Desire To Inflict Pain, And Unwavering Loyalty To Victorian, And Thereby Myself. I Think These Two Young
Men Could Be.....Molded Into Quite A Force to Be Reckoned With. Yes, Indeed.
Next We Have Apocalypse, The Nwa-NE AND New Gen Heavyweight Champion. This Force Of Evil Teamed Up With Gino To Take On
Two Of The Biggest Morons In Wrestling Today, Beau Douglass And Kamakazi. Kamakazi, What Were You Thinking? You Had Just Started
Healing Up After The Beating You Received At The Previous NWA Show, And You Wanted MORE? As For You Beau, You Should Have Kept
Your Nose Clean On This One, But No, You Just HAD To get Involved In The Carnival's Business. So Be It. Oh Yes, Lest I Forget,
There Was A Special Guest Referee In That Match. Now, What Was His Name? Hmmmmmm.... Oh Yes. "Boston Bad Boy" Jason Rumble.
As I Said That Night, While You May Have Quite The Reputation In NWA And Throughout New England, You Are Simply A Little Boy
In A MAN'S Sport, And A Washed Up One At That. The Carnival Of Payne Is The Future Of Wrestling, And If A Tiny Little BOY
Like Rumble Stands In The Way, We'll Beat You Down AGAIN Just As We Did At The Conclusion Of That Show.
Speaking Of The Future, What Does The Future Hold For The COP? Plenty. Here's A Partial List.
The New COP T-Shirts Are Designed, And Waiting For Printing. Hopefully, By November, You Pathetic Little Sheep Will be Able
To Trade In Your Foodstamps Just To Get Your Grubby Little Hands On This Majestic Five-Color T-Shirts, Pictured Below.
The COP Is Ready To Expand Into Yet MORE Wrestling Federations. I Am Currently In Talks With Two More Promotions,
In Hopes Of Further Taking Over ALL Of Wrestling In The Northeast. Which Two Feds? HMmmmmmmm. I Guess I'll Just Have To Keep That
A Surprise, And What A Surprise It Will Be.
Speaking Of Surprises, Well, I Can't Say Too Much About It, But The Carnival Family Is About To GROW. Let's Just Say That
There Are Soon To Be Two New Members Of The COP. One, Well, One Of Them Is An Old Friend Of Mine, And Over The Last Few Months,
We've Been Discussing Renewing Our FORMER Working Relationship. I Think You Little Sheep Will Be Quite Shocked At His New/Old
Attitude. The Other, Well, I Can't Say Much About Him Yet, But NWA/NWH Will NEVER Be The Same. Heh, heh, heh.
One Thing I Can Talk About Is The Upcoming Funeral for "Rugged" Rick Daniels. As I Said, Daniels Managed To Eeek Out A Narrow,
Cheap Victory Over My Powerhouse Plague, So I Hope He Enjoyed It. For Next Week, He Is In For The Fight Of His Life. In Fairfield, Maine
Gino Martino Is Going To Annihilate Daniels Once And For All In A Street Fight. Daniels, Did You Not Witness What Gino Did To Osirus? Let Me Remind You,
Osirus Had A Streetfight With Gino Three Months Ago, AND NO ONE HAS SEEN HIM SINCE THEN!!!! Think About It You Moron, You Stand NO Chance
Against Gino. Save Yourself. Save Your Career. Hell, SAVE YOUR VERY LIFE!!! Whatever You Do, Do NOT Show Up In Fairfield, Or Else Gino
Will End Your Very Existance.
To Finish On A Positive Note For You Little Sheep, If You Can't Get Enough Payne, And I KNOW You Can't, Well, Your Nimrods
Are In Luck. This Sunday The 24th of October At Four P.M. EST, I Will Be A Guest On The Internet Radio Show , At
www.AboveTheMat.com,
With Hosts Kurt Kaoss, Vic Vanity, Marshall (The Producer), Brooklyn And New Host Big Chuck Wagon. Do Your Ignorant Asses A Favor
And Tune in To Get Educated, Emancipated, And Elevated.
Dr. Payne
