7-27-04-----History Is Made In Buxton. That's right, sheep, the world of independent wrestling is about to be
changed forever. First in New Wrestling Horizons, then throughout the northeast, and finally across this whole damned
country.
"Duhhhh, but Dr. Payne, I don't know what you're talking about? A-yup.", is what I'm sure some of you mindless clods are
saying to yourselves in between swigs of P.B.R. beer and daydreams of being half the success that I am. Don't worry sheep, as
always, I'm here to educate, elevate, and emancipate your pathetic little lives and minds.
You see, sheep, for those of you not in attendance at Skip's in Buxton last night (and shame on you for missing out)
I did it again. For the last five years I've prided myself on having the vision, the gift, the intelligence to find and
take under my wing the very best of talent from the northeast. I discovered Johnny Curtis. I brought Adam Booker into the
EWA (and have regretted it every single day since). I brought out some of the most vicous and violent matches from the Damned.
I discovered Frankie Armadillo and for four years TRIED to make a man out of him. I gave "Extremely Tasty" the kick in the
ass he needed to become a contender again. And that brings us to last night.
Last night, I fooled Osirus, and I fooled all of those fools in Buxton, which is really nothing to brag about. For weeks
I had proclaimed that I was scouting talent, and had my eye on a wrestler that when combined with my intelligence, would become an
unstoppable force. That man was none other than "The Extreme Strongman" Gino Martino.
For those of you unaware of Mr. Martino's accomplishments, please visit his website @ www.ginomartino.tripod.com.
Put briefly, Gino Martino is the baddest man I have EVER come across in wrestling. This 5'10" 250lb tank not only knows
his way around a wrestling ring, he's a legitimate strongman. Besides his ability to lift inappropriate amounts of weight,
he has established himself as having the toughest skull in the world. Cement blocks smashed over his head? No Problem.
Bed of nails? With ease. Fire? Pfffft. No Sweat. Which brings me to the "Carnival of Payne".
The "Carnival of Payne" is going to become the biggest and most unique faction in independent wrestling, mark my words.
A lot of people in wrestling claim to be "old school", but we will be "really old school". As I said in my column about managers
(go read it, assfaces), wrestling started off in the early 1900's at carnivals. Back then, a "barker" (ala Dr. Payne) would travel
around the country demonstrating the physical gifts of his wrestlers through feats of strength and toughness. Well, who
tougher than Gino Martino? In fact, we have a little feat planned for Osirus for next week. Let's just say, Gino Martino
beating Osirus in an arm wrestling match would be no big deal. Why not add a little......fuel for the fire shall we say?
You'll have to be in Buxton on August 3rd to see just what we mean.
Now most people would be happy enough with just Gino Martino, but I've learned something in my time as a manager. You can't
put all of your eggs in one basket, and you can't have a winning formula in wrestling with JUST brains (me) and Brawn (Gino).
So enter my high wire act, none other than "Extremely Tasty" Adam Hastey. Besides being the man that the ladies pay to see,
(and pay to do other things, but that's another post) Hastey brings the high-flying and speed that the Carnival of Payne needs.
Now that I've gotten it through his skull that you sheep are nothing to us, and that all that matters is winning at any cost,
Hastey has more fight and fire in him than I've seen in the last five years .
So what does all of this mean? Quite simple. It means that (and you can quote me on this) within the next 6-12 months,
the Carnival of Payne will make it's presence be known AND felt throughout the northeast. And things will never be the same again.
Dr. Payne